KyouyaPerfect
by Jane Eyre0
Summary: i'm sorry i can't be perfect"....songifick. Read please I suck at summaries kyoya centric.


_Hey dad look at me_

Why won't he look at me? Acknowledge me? I'm his son! His child!  
_Think back and talk to me_

Why? Why won't he ever talk to me? When was the last time we had normal conversation? Two years ago? Three?  
_Did I grow up according to plan?_

I know he has plans for us all, and sometimes I want to ask. Am I accomplishing your dreams? Plans?  
_And do you think I'm wasting my time  
Doing things I wanna do_

I really like Host Club…my friends…why won't he understand? Last time when he found about it he hit me. He asked if I want to disgrace him and he said I waste my time with my friends…_  
But it hurts when you disapprove all along_  
It really hurts when you try hard to impress someone and this person always says it's wrong!  
_And now I try hard to make it_

I really try harder and harder to impress him. I learn good every time I hope he'll appreciate it. _  
I just want to make you proud_

All I want is, him to say 'you did good work son. I'm proud'. Which kid doesn't want parents to be proud?  
_I'm never gonna be good enough for you_

But he will never say he's proud. I'm always the worst, I never try enough, and he's always disappointed with me. No matter how hard I try.  
_I can't pretend that I'm alright_

I just fell horrible with this. I can lie to my friends, but I can't lie to myself anymore. I can't pretend that everything's all right when it's not…  
_And you can't change me_  
I won't be my brothers…I can be try to become their replica, but it'll never be real me.  
_Cuz we lost it all_

We're not proper family; we live like rats in lab. I never had nice, warm house, when mother cooks dinner and smiles, where father and sons share special bond. All this is lost in our life._  
Nothing lasts forever_

When, I was a kid I didn't understand the world of adults. But nothing is eternal. I grew up, my sister-the only kind one left house.  
_I'm sorry I can't be perfect_

I'm not perfect…I'm sorry…really sorry.  
_Now it's just too late_

Now even if he'd like to repair everything it's too late. It'll never heal our family completely and make it normal. Too much damage had been done.  
_And we can't go back_

Time can't be controlled…we can't come back to the past and cancel all the things that happened. We reached some stage and we can't do things that belong to lower level  
_I'm sorry I can't be perfect_  
_I try not to think  
About the pain I feel inside_

I try to push the pain away…I try to tell myself that it doesn't hurt when dad is coming home and just goes to his room not even asking what's going on.  
_Did you know you used to be my hero_

When I was younger my father was a role model to me. Really I wanted to be successful like him  
_All the days you spent with me  
Now seem so far away_

My father helped me with math's when I was very little, now it looks like a dream. He only glances at my certificate and puts it away.  
_And it feels like you don't care anymore  
_Sometimes I wonder if he cared if I died…or something happened to me. He acts like my life meant nothing to him. He wouldn't even be sad, if I died.  
_And now I try hard to make it  
I just want to make you proud  
I'm never gonna be good enough for you  
I can't stand another fight_

I don't know if I'll mange another round…I have my limits too. I start to loose strength.  
_And nothing's alright_  
Nothing is all right in my damn life. I have so many problems….I'm seventeen!  
_Cuz we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late  
And we can't go back  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect  
_  
_Nothing's gonna change the things that you said_

All the things he said…I still hear his harsh words "are you trying to disgrace me?" I can't get it off my mind….nothing is going to change that. He meant it.  
_Nothing's gonna make this right again (right again)_

And nothing, even giving me the firm will ever cancel these words; I'll still feel a bit hurt…_  
Please don't turn your back_

I don't want my father to keep walking away from me. Leaving me behind.  
_I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you_

I want to talk with him. Father-son talk.  
_But you don't understand (you don't understand)  
_He doesn't get it. He always leaves….he's never there for me, he doesn't understand my problems.  
_Cuz we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late  
And we can't go back  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect_

_Cuz we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late  
And we can't go back  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect_

"I'm sorry dad" I whisper as watch him thro my window leaving again "I'm sorry ím not prefect enough to deserve your love"

…

ok I juts watched few OHSHC clips with that song…I just fell in love with it, and I decided to write a songfic about Kyouya's feelings.


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